How to Write Your First Letter to a Pen Pal

The first letter is the hardest one. You're writing to a stranger, you don't know what they care about, and there's no conversation to lean on. The good news is that a first letter doesn't need to be impressive. It needs to be warm and easy to answer.

Start with who you are, briefly

Say hello, say where you live, and give two or three details that make you a person rather than a profile: what you do in the mornings, what you're studying or working on, what you'd be doing right now if you weren't writing.

Skip the full life story. A first letter that tries to say everything leaves nothing to discover in the second.

Say why you wrote to them

If you found them because they're learning your language, or heading to a city you love, say so. A specific reason makes the letter feel chosen instead of mass-sent, and it gives them a natural thread to pull on.

Ask one or two real questions

The best questions are open and easy: what does a normal weekend look like where you live? What's a word in your language that doesn't translate well? Avoid interview-style lists of ten questions. One or two is plenty.

Keep it short and finish it

A few short paragraphs is a great first letter. Don't wait until it's perfect. Slow mail is forgiving: the whole point is that nobody is waiting on a fast reply, so a simple letter sent today beats a brilliant one that never leaves your drafts.

Then let it travel

In SlowJourney the letter takes time to arrive, depending on how far apart you are. Enjoy that. Go for a walk, forget about it, and let the reply be a small surprise.